Again
by abacas
Summary: Tom must go back in time and make the trek through the Delta Quadrant again, though only he remembers what happened before on Voyager. NB: Re-doing this all over again no pun intended
1. Chapter 1 Escapade

I am determined to start this story again (no pun intended). Sorry about that - I promise I won't start it again and I will stick to what I have written here no matter how bad it is... I'm probably going to regret that. Also, be advised: I have no real plan here and I apologise for not being better organised about this all. But hey - it's all writing practice - right?

With that little warning/apology out of the way, lets begin Again again!

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**Again – Chapter 1 – Escapade.**

Running.

Run faster.

Two men and a woman race down the corridors in bids for freedom. Their hopes suddenly dissipate when a familiar noise bursts out of non-existence.

BUZZZZ!

Forcefields fly up around them at the intersection of two corridors. They spin around to stare at each other - someone has to be a traitor and each knows it is not themselves.

"Which of you told them!" The woman shouts.

"Personally, I think it's Max." The blonde haired man retorts.

"You're quick to point fingers, Paris!" Max growls.

"You're not denying it." Paris counted.

The two men consider each other for a second and then together, slowly, turn to face the woman. Her face contorts.

"What?" She spits.

"Come on, Seska. It was you're bright idea. You've got to take some responsibility." Tom Paris offers. Max makes a non-committed noise.

Seska's eyes narrow as she considers the two men. "Whose side are you on, Max?"

Max's head jerks for a moment, seemingly offended. "Mine." He says simply.

"Well, that clears that up. For a moment I thought we were all one happy family." Paris comments. "How wrong can a guy be?"

From all directions, Voyager's security personnel surround them. Their freedom dives into the vents recycling the ships air. Their escapade is over.

**Two days later.**

Tom Paris is laying flat on his back with lights from the platform underneath him flickering gently as he stares resigned at the ceiling of the cargo bay. Blood soaked clothes cover his battered body. Voyager starts to tremble - her enemies are closing their nets.

_This must end..._ _This cannot go on... Whatever price has to be paid, I shall pay._

A voice answers his thoughts. 'Are you sure?'

_Yes._

As the cargo bay threatens to surrender its sanctuary, Tom drowns in misery.

_How did it ever come to this?_

He closes his eyes and a whisper of silence echoes around the room as the white flag of defeat is raised.


	2. Chapter 2 Janeway sips coffee

I hope you enjoyed the last instalment. Couldn't think of a good title for this chapter – it's always so hard to decide upon a title!

Thanks for reading.

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**Again - Chapter 2 – Janeway sips coffee**

**Almost 6 years earlier - a couple of weeks after being stranded in the Delta Quadrant.**

Janeway sipped her coffee while her First Officer Cavit and Mr. Chakotay eyed each other suspiciously.

"How are the Maquis settling in?" Janeway asked the room between sips.

"They're-" Cavit began as his face began to twist.

"One or two minor problems, but nothing we can't handle." Chakotay interrupted.

"Good. Commander, do you have a problem with the Maquis being aboard...?" Janeway asked.

"Of course not, Captain." Cavit said as he towed the company line in words only.

"Good-" The door chimed. Thoughts of telling Cavit to stop having facial contortions would have to wait. "Come in."

Lt. Tuvok entered holding an angry young woman and who seemed to only get angrier when she noticed Cavit. Chakotay looked concerned that a similar scene was repeating itself.

"Captain," Tuvok began. "Crewman Torres assaulted four engineering personnel - all needed immediate medical attention. The repairs will take up to another day to complete due to this incident."

B'Elanna Torres rolled her eyes. "'Immediate medical attention'... " She grumbled in disbelief. "They weren't that badly hurt and I was simply making the repair process quicker!" She cried.

"Lt. Carey described your methods as reckless and prone to cause damage to other systems." Tuvok counted.

Torres could not believe her ears and wondered how they were ever go to survive the Delta Quadrant if more quicker methods then Starfleets standard repair methods were never to be used. To her, it was a classic case of Starfleet stupidity and now she was stuck with it for the rest of her life - could things get any worse?

Apparently, things could get worse. Due to B'Elanna leaving her quarters on all then previous occassions when she had been told to stay there, she was now in the brig in the opposite cell to Tom Paris, the ships resident prisoner. Paranoia about him was rife and not many came to his aid - there were rumours that he was somehow involved in getting everyone stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Some supposed this was because he had not got anything left to stay for in the Alpha Quadrant and wanted to start again elsewhere, and on the Maquis vessel he had had an opportunity to get himself and the ship stranded. They also supposed that Voyager had just been collateral damage in his bid to avoid prison for destroying an entire Starfleet vessel that killed all hands. Janeway was still in the process of deciding what she would do with him, but had more important business to attend to so Paris would just have to wait.

"Hey - look." He complained. "I _never_ got convicted. Janeway can't keep me in here and the first opportunity I get, I'm leaving."

"You think she is going to let you leave?" B'Elanna mentally kicked herself for being drawn back into the conversation again.

"Yeah. It makes sense to let me go - at the moment I'm only taking up space and resources." Pause. "Unless she lets me pilot Voyager of course - then I might stay."

B'Elanna smirked - they both knew that that eventuality was so unlikely it was not worth mentioning, and yet it he had mentioned it. Either Paris was deluded or trying to keep his spirits up, the hate she felt toward him would keep admiring him for either of those things. Tom turned away from the forcefield and went to lay down on his bed which was not as comfy as he would have liked. Staring at the ceiling, he mused about his situation and if it would ever be possible to improve his life on Voyager and not spend the rest of the voyage in the brig. Despair started to bite at him. Talking. More talking was needed right now. Keep the despairing thoughts at bay.

"What about you?"

"Pardon?" Torres said with annoyance in her voice.

"I guess you'd want to be Chief Engineer." Paris mused.

"Why would you say that?"

"Easy, you're an engineer."

"How do you know that?" Mentally she checked her appearance, making sure she was not giving away any obvious signs of her occupation. _How could he possibly know? Ah._ Obviously, he had heard her name on the Maquis ship and connected the two. That _had_ to be it.

Paris smiled sadly, still staring at the ceiling. "I know everything."

_Liar._


	3. Chapter 3 Will we always have Paris?

This one takes places a few days after the last chapter.

Thanks for reading.

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**Again - Chapter 3 – Will we always have Paris?**

In the briefing room, Janeway watched casually as the senior officers reported on the status of various systems and resources, waiting for the end to broach a delicate topic. Cupped in her hands, another coffee that kept attempting to reach her lips, only making it on average one out of every three attempts as she considered her options.

"... well, I think that takes care of everything." Said Cavit.

"Not quite." Said Janeway as she lowered her coffee onto the briefing room table. "I am aware that many of the crew are unhappy with keeping Paris onboard Voyager."

Everyone except Tuvok shifted in their seats to a lesser or greater degree.

"We know he's dangerous - he got us into this mess in the first place!" Cavit espoused. The rest of the room had an ambivalent attitude towards his remarks, most of them outright distrusted Paris whilst at the same time, knowing the comments were mostly based on rumour alone.

"If you are referring to our current situation, then it is far from clear whether Mr. Paris was involved in getting either Voyager or the Maquis ship stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Besides, there is no evidence to support such a claim and while the Captain would be justified in holding a trial regarding the destruction of the USS Orion, we do not have access to the evidence Starfleet has on the incident." Tuvok said as Cavit slumped unhappily in his seat. He turned his attention to Janeway. "Captain, unless you find an evidential reason to remove Mr. Paris from Voyager, I would advise against it - he is a wanted man and _if_ he really is as dangerous as the rumours suggest, then we have a duty not to impose that danger on any innocent residents of the Delta Quadrant."

"I agree with Mr. Vulcan!" Said Neelix enthusiastically. "If he does something bad again, then it'll be our reputation ruined, Captain! Ships trade on their reputation-"

"Thank you, Neelix. I understand what you're saying and I agree." Janeway interrupted.

Neelix smiled, looking pleased at the agreement from his new Captain, others in the room looked gloomier.

"What about the crew?" Dr. Fitzgerald asked. "If he's dangerous and he stays, then he poses a risk to Voyager."

"Doctor, I should not need to remind you that the brig can adequately contain a human. Voyager is quite safe." Tuvok counted. Fitzgerald crossed his arms but said nothing.

"If you going to keep Paris in the brig long term," Started Chakotay, knowing that it would only make things between himself and Cavit worse. He did not like Paris either, but keeping him in a cell with only time on his hands could make him dangerous if he was not dangerous already. "We need to think more carefully about work and recreation we can provide for him."

"Work and recreation?" Dr. Fitzgerald beat Cavit to it.

"Yes. Starfleet regulations-"

"Stuff Starfleet regulations!" Shouted Cavit as he slammed his fist into the desk.

"Gentlemen!" Janeway called out, not quite shouting herself - annoyed that her First Officer, who was usually more orderly and calm about things, was now making a scene and undermining her authority. "Commander, if you cannot discuss the matter at hand is a calm and collected way, then we will discuss it without you. Is that clear?"

Going a little pale, Cavit relaxed back slightly in his chair. "Yes, Captain."

_I'm glad you got the message._ She thought.

After a long pause, Janeway turned to Tuvok.

"Lt. Tuvok, have you found anything that would justify Mr. Paris' continued incarceration?" She asked.

"Nothing evidential, Captain. However, considering the arrest warrant issued by Starfleet clearly indicates they had evidence against him regarding his alleged involvement in the destruction of the USS Orion, I would still suggest some continuation of his confinement until we know if he is trustworthy." He said.

_Seems sensible._

* * *

Riding the turbolift away from the briefing, Cavit and Fitzgerald considered the situation.

"We have to get rid of him." Cavit seethed.

"Chakotay or Paris?"

"Both if we can manage it."

"We? ... Look – obviously, the Captain has made her mind up. All we can do is wait and watch for them to make a wrong move." Fitzgerald offered.

Cavit was not sure he wanted to wait - waiting could put Voyager in danger - waiting could get people hurt or worse. Though, without the Captain agreeing, there was not much he could do without getting himself in the brig. All the previous missions he had been on had been easier. You always had backup; you always had help. Here, all you had was you and Cavit felt it keenly. _Alone, all alone._

"Fine. We wait."

As the turbolift doors opened, Seska was slightly surprised at the two men she found inside. The two men started to exit the turbolift as the lift itself jerked violently.

"Red Alert! All hands, battle stations!" Janeway declared over the intercom.

After recovering from the jolt, the two men called for the lift to take them to the bridge as Seska ran back down the corridor and turned the wrong way.


	4. Chapter 4 Eyes watched

Apologies for such a short chapter - been very busy. If you don't like them so short, you may be disappointed for the next couple or so chapters! Hope it doesn't put anyone off. Thanks for reading.

**Again - Chapter 4 - Eyes watched**

Voyager gently pitched this way and that under the barrage of a couple Kazon vessels as Seska jogged down a corridor, trying to keep out of sight and ducked into the quarters she shared with B'Elanna Torres. The quarters where smaller then she would have liked, though capable of accommodating both women. The place was dark as she slipped into the chair in front of the console. She tapped at the console for a few moments and was disappointed at the results.

"Computer, is there any damage to the communication array?"

"Negative." The computer replied.

"Then why are you not sending my message!" She spat.

"Please rephrase the question."

"Did you send my message?" She said through gritted teeth.

"Affirmative." The computer assured.

However, the readout on the console was trying to sell a different picture, as it clearly read 'Cannot send message, unknown error'. Seska tried another again, using another method, but still she got the same response. Whatever she did, it did not work and before long the Kazon had stopped their attack. It was now too late. She quickly covered her tracks and left to resume her post as she hoped that no one had noticed her wrong turn.

Eyes watched. _I saw._


	5. Chapter 5 Start after lunch

I hope I don't have to go back on what I said last time lol. Thanks for reading.

**Again - Chapter 5 - Start after lunch**

Captain Janeway stood in front of the forcefield, watching the young man on the other side closely.

"You're not going to let me leave, are you?" Tom said as he looked at the ground.

"No, I don't know if I can trust you to behave yourself." Janeway replied. Paris had not given much away during their conversation and it annoyed her.

He nodded, almost absent-mindedly. "You don't want to risk me doing something in the Delta Quadrant, like I did back home."

"Something like that." She wondered about his choice of words, if he was admitting anything. Unlikely - every single time he had been questioned, he denied being responsible for the Orion incident.

"But if I'm good, I get time out of the brig?"

"Supervised work outside the brig, yes. If it goes well, then the time you spend each day outside the brig will increase."

Paris nodded again, still not communicating much outside speech, still thinking. Janeway yearned to get inside the young mans head, to hear his thoughts, to get an idea of the real risk he posed, if any, to Voyager.

"I guess I had better be good then." He finally said in a light-hearted manner. "What's my first assignment and when can I start?"

Janeway could not help but smile at the somewhat unexpected enthusiasm. _You've been cooped up in here for a while now, haven't you?_ She thought. "First, I want the brig spotless, then you can clean the corridor outside and sections 4 through 7 on this deck. You can start after lunch."

"Yes, ma'am." He acknowledged with little or no visible dent to his enthusiasm.

So many questions remained unanswered about Paris, about his motivations, his trustworthiness, his general character. So far, he was not living up to the rumours about himself, but that could all change once he got out of the brig and had a proper opportunity to make trouble. As Janeway turned to leave, she considered the warning Cavit had given her. "If you do this Captain, you'll put us all in danger." Perhaps, but no one currently knew enough about Paris, except himself, to know one way or the other. At least, that is what she thought.


	6. Chapter 6 Waiting on Eugene

I'm not completely sure about this chapter. Tomutionmyha, I hope this is some help with the confusion and thanks for reviewing! Probably wouldn't have gotten around to explaining if you hadn't of said anything – I was meaning to, but got a little side-tracked, oops.

Thanks for reading.

**Again - Chapter 6 - Waiting on Eugene**

Neelix scurried over to introduce himself to his new helper. "Hello, Mr. Paris, I'm Neelix, the ship's chief chef and Morale Officer."

Tom Paris looked up into the Talaxian's eager face and then quickly tried to bury himself back into his work. There was a lot of mess the crew had left him to clear up in the Mess Hall and he was not even half done. He really wanted to be alone with his thoughts and not having to deal with any of the crew for the moment. Plaguing thoughts started to erupt from the buried depths of his mind and he wished his new boss would just go away and leave him to do his job in peace.

"What can I do for you?" Said Tom, trying to keep anger out of his voice and barely succeeding. "I've got a lot to do." He added, gesturing to the tottering piles of plates and mugs.

Neelix held his ground. "Well, I was wondering if there was anything _I_ can do for you. It must be very lonely in the brig, perhaps I can arrange some visitors for you..." He trailed off as Tom's head shot up and locked eyes with him - anger burnt in every feature of his young face.

"_Visitors?_" Tom spat. "Everyone _hates_ me too much to give a damn about me and do you know what? I think I prefer it that way. Do yourself a favour, Neelix and fuck off."

A moment too late, he spotted B'Elanna over Neelix's shoulder and his anger seemed to heighten. Later, Neelix realised it had been pain, not anger, on his young helper's face and his earlier resolve of helping Tom only strengthened.

* * *

A day later, Neelix slowly approached the forcefield.

"Hello, Mr. Paris. The Captain said you wanted to see me?" He said, trying to sound conversational, friendly.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about yesterday." Said Tom. "I didn't mean to... I just think that the rest of the crew deserve your attention - I mean, it's a big crew and you're the only Morale Officer - you've got your work cut out for you." He finished by staring at the ground.

Neelix took a step forward, considering what had just been said. "It seems to me that you could do with a Morale boost."

"Yeah, well, I'm in jail, so it doesn't matter what I need. And I can't see everyone else appreciating you wasting your time on me. They all hate me but there is no reason for all of them to hate you too." Tom ran a hand through his hair in frustration, turned around and walked back to sit on his bed.

"You're concerned what people will think about me?" Neelix asked, intrigued.

"The ship only needs one fall guy and I'm it." He replied, dodging the question.

"That's why you don't want visitors - you don't want others to risk the rest of the crew's wrath."

"Something like that." Tom sighed.

The Talaxian nodded and hurried away to set into motion a plan that he hoped could overcome the thorny problem Tom was so concerned about.

* * *

The watching man pushed himself away from the wall and went to stand over Thomas Eugene Paris. "I've always liked Neelix."

Slowly, Tom raised his head out of his hands. He was still sitting on his bed in the brig, but all this suddenly changed and he found himself in familiar quarters. "Where the fucking hell have you been?" This time, it was definitely anger that seethed forth toward the intruder of his dreams.

"Watching."

"No-I mean-. You _know_ what I mean, Eugene!" Tom cried. "Why haven't you appeared before now?"

Eugene was the spitting image, of Tom, bar the clothing - Eugene was in pale civilian attire, the same attire he always wore: a white top and beige bottoms with pale brown shoes. He considered his real world counterpart for a moment before replying with a carefully worded statement.

"You haven't needed me. To be honest, you don't need me now."

Tom's mouth fell open; the anger had given way to complete shock. "Haven't needed you? You're the one who keeps me sane! The only one who can make any of this whole fucked up mess bearable! _Fix__this!_" He cried desperately.

"You agreed to the terms and conditions of the time travelling." Tom fell onto the couch at those words and buried his head in his hands, knowing the rest of the compulsory speech by heart. "You solve the Voyager bombing, without help from the crew or anyone else apart from my limited help and the timeline stays the way it is. If you attain help from unauthorised sources, you forfeit and it goes back to the original timeline where Voyager is destroyed. If you want to change the rules of the game in any way, you have to forfeit something. You wanted the rule change - you forfeited."

"But the Orion? Over eight-hundred people died and it had nothing to do with Voyager!"

"You risked the forfeit, you live with it." Eugene was unrepentant.

"So that's why you're not helping me? I have to do this on my own?" Tom choked at the crushing realisation.

"In regards to personal stuff, yes. Everything else that I usually help with is unaffected."

Tears streamed down Tom's face, he did not know how he was going to cope without Eugene's help - the promise of which had been the only thing that had kept him going and now that help was not going to come.

"You won't let me see her." Tom sobbed into his shaking hands.

"I'm sorry." Eugene said in a sorrowful tone.

The dream world melted away as Tom rolled over and stared at the brig wall through burning eyes as hopes of sanity on Voyager's long journey home died an agonising death.


	7. Chapter 7 Trust

I wasn't sure how to proceed, so I've just gone for it. I hope this chapter isn't too bad because of it! Thanks for reading.

**Again – Chapter 7 – Trust**

Only the next day, Tom found himself working in the Mess Hall, cleaning up after the lunchtime rush when the last person he wanted to see walked in. To say she was the last person was not strictly true, she was also the first he would ever want to see in any situation. Time travel had made her someone else though and that was always hard to come to terms with, but last time was different - last time had been everything he wanted.

B'Elanna Torres stormed into the Mess Hall, frustration and anger written all over her face. Wiping his hands on a towel, Tom started to walk towards her, wishing he could talk to _his_ B'Elanna.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked politely in as even tone as he could manage.

"I don't need anything from you!" She spat.

"Okay." Said Tom as he turned to poured a cup of coffee and then offered her the beverage.

Perplexed and somewhat automatically, she reached out for the drink. Not a sip of coffee was consumed however and she remained standing in the middle of the tables as Tom worked around her.

"That's it?" She said after several moments.

"If you wanna talk, talk." He replied.

Finally, B'Elanna sat down. "Carey complained about me to the Captain again." She said. Moodily and with a loud "thunk", she sat the coffee down on the table. "Things take longer the Starfleet way - all I want to do is speed things up so we can get repairs done quicker and get out of the firing line. No one is going to help up out here - we're on our own. I've told this to Carey plenty of times, he just doesn't want to listen. He's going to get us all killed because of his stupid by-the-book methods."

Tom remained silent in not quite a neutral manner, leading B'Elanna to fear the worse.

"What? You think he's right?" She cried, her mood threatening to turn for the worse again.

"Not completely. I think you've got valid points, but if you work completely against him, he's not going to listen no matter how valid your points are." He replied, trying to choose his words carefully.

B'Elanna crossed her arms and cursed herself for telling him anything. He did not need to know and he could not even help her anyway - no one was going to listen to him either and she became determined that she would do the same.

"Let me give you another piece of advice." He offered. "Don't trust Seska."

"Why should I trust _you_?" She snarled.

"Fine - don't trust either of us." Tom amended as he removed the apparently undrinkable coffee from B'Elanna's table.

Talking back to the counter, Tom heard B'Elanna quietly leaving without another word.

"You did the wrong thing." Eugene said from deep inside Tom's head.

"Fuck off." He retorted silently.

"She's not going to believe you." Eugene complained.

"Yeah, I know. But when Seska fucks up, she'll see that I was right and maybe she'll trust me."

* * *

Three weeks later.

The warning was almost completely forgotten as B'Elanna entered her quarters and was immediately pulled aside by Seska who seemed in strange mood.

"B'Elanna - you trust me, don't you?"

Trust. That word again. The warning gnawed at the edge of the engineers mind, but she battered it away.

"You're my friend, of course I trust you!" She replied bewildered. Silently, she went through all the reasons she had to trust or not trust Seska and there was not anything she could think of that would justify not trusting her. They had gone through hell together fighting the Cardassians in the Alpha Quadrant - surely you could trust someone after going through those kinds of experiences together. Tuvok. You could try to apply the same logic to Tuvok - but _he_ had been a Starfleet spy. Doubt resurfaced momentarily.

"Good. We're going to take over Voyager."

...

"What? What does Chakotay say about this?"

"Chakotay isn't a part of this - he's too busy ingratiating himself with the Captain. He doesn't care about the Marquis, he's too busy making his own life comfortable to give a fuck about anyone else. We can't trust him anymore."

_'Trust.' Damn that word. _Thought B'Elanna. Suddenly she could no longer keep three words at bay, 'Don't trust Seska.', three little words which looked like that could ring true. 'Don't trust either of us.'

"Fuck." B'Elanna breathed unconsciously.

"I know Chakotay is important to both of us, but he's made his choice - the wrong choice. He should have stuck by the Marquis. The old Chakotay would have understood why this needs to be done."

Seska was right about Chakotay, and if she could not trust either Chakotay or Seska herself, who could she trust? Not a single other person came to mind and she certainly did not trust Tom. Pushing every doubt out of her mind and feeling she had nothing to loose, B'Elanna Torres finally nodded her agreement.

Seska smiled to herself. Recruiting her friend was easier then she had originally feared and with her onboard, other Marquis would sure follow.


End file.
